Exposing & Loving Messy People

Greetings to you in the Lord, beloved! October 20th marked the 1-year anniversary Husband and I attended a 12 Stones counseling retreat with four members from and at our church. I had never felt so exposed and humiliated by my sin. By the last day, I began to shut down, wanting to run away and hide. But it was part of God's perfect and gracious plan to continue exposing a distorted understanding and application of the gospel. Through much of my life I thought He responded to me based on my performance (which I thought was fairly decent), and I responded to others based on their performance (not so decent), damaging relationships, especially my marriage. I was looking down on people, as opposed to looking up at Christ. But fellowship with the body plus consistent preaching of the word and gospel from the pulpit, equipping school and women's bible study began to chip away at my heart these last 4 years and especially the last. Our prayer is that the Lord would help you grow in seeing your dire and daily need of Himself and the messy church body as a critical means of grace for your sanctification. We are deficient by design and need Him and one another to walk, stand, get back up when we fall and direct our gaze back to God. 

Our church is reading through the book Loving Messy People by Scott Mehl (it is a fantastic and easy read) in our Sunday morning equipping class, followed by the same four questions and answers from a different person or persons. Husband and I had the privilege of sharing, and you can listen to the recording at 34:04 by clicking here (we'd encourage you to watch the entire class, too:). Due to time, we were unable to answer the fourth question, but it is below. May your gaze be directed up!

What would you say to someone who wants to help others, but feels that they are too messed up or not spiritual enough to be of any use to Christ and His body?

(Rick) Romans 3:23 says that we’ve all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. We will never be spiritual enough. 'God uses messy people to help other messy people' (Mehl). “We are just beggars telling other beggars where to find bread” (DT Niles).

(Me) We are all messy people and will never be perfect, this side of glory. Even Paul would say he was the chief of sinners and that believers are not saved on the basis of good deeds we have done, but, rather, all are saved by the mercy of God. And I would add all can be used by the mercy of God - Paul would undoubtedly agree. It is a grace for any of us to want to help others – this is what Christ did for us, when we were desperate for rescue. Wanting to help is an outflow of His love for us. Coming from the other end of the spectrum, I believed I was so spiritual I thought I had figured out the answer and would be of great use to Christ and His body. I was blinded by self-sufficiency & works-righteousness. I did not recognize my own daily need, so I did not grow in appreciating what the beloved Son did for me at Calvary. But both perspectives are distorted – too messed up or not as messed up –both of our eyes are on ourselves or others – we must put our eyes on Christ. We must pray for God to grow our understanding of His love by being a student of the word and resolve to obey it, by the power of the Holy Spirit. We must ask Him to enable us to love as He has loved us (John 13:34) and to quiet our feelings about sufficiency apart from Jesus. We do not help others because we are not messy or more spiritual. We help because God who is perfect and holy first loved US! As those loved by the Father, we CANNOT help but TO love as He has loved! And the best way we can love the brethren is pointing them to the savior and His perfection, not ours, or lack thereof.

Praise Reports:

1. Husband went on a men's retreat with other brothers from our church and caregroup and had a great time of intimate fellowship;
2. Husband and I continue going on dates and ongoing discipleship; 
3. I have been able to spend more time building relationships with family and at church; 
4. Jacob continues with school, performances and went on a mini tour; and
5. Zachary, Rick and my dad went to Sea World and had a great guys day.

Husband at the Men's Retreat

Prayer Requests (the Lord's will in all):

1. Husband started his 3rd & last year of bible training on August 28th; he is working on his 60-page thesis;
2. I am presenting on missions at our women's fall event on Saturday, 11/4/23;
3. A new place to live;
4. The 3 Valadez brothers as they care for my mother-in-law in early stages of dementia/Alzheimer's, selling her home and transitioning her to live with one of my brother-in-laws; 
5. Wisdom, endurance & to walk in the Spirit, with ongoing health challenges, daily dealings with sin and changes with work (Avi);
6. Witnessing and discipleship opportunities; and
7. Jacob & Zachary to bear consistent/genuine fruit of salvation.

Sea World Trip