The Gift that Keeps on Giving

February brings much celebration to our home - me, Husband and both of our dad's have birthdays. I'll admit, I play the birthday card, because I enjoy spending time with people :D But as my D.O.B. neared, I was reflecting on my life as a whole, and especially since coming to Christ. The one thing that stands out is: the mercy of God - saving me, refining me and loving me. 

To start, here is a bit of my testimony. I was raised catholic and attended church with my mom and older sister. Because of what I knew about God and what I did, like go to church, I believed I was going to heaven when I died. I thought I was a good person, or at least, good enough. In 2002, my dad who practiced no religion put his faith in Christ and "shared" Him with me. Shortly after, I prayed the "sinner's prayer," but my life was unchanged. Quite the opposite, I continued enjoying and walking towards sin. Another moral ritual, I now thought believing in Jesus and doing some of what was commanded of me, secured my salvation. During my college years, I continued living to please myself and got everything I wanted. But by 2012, these things no longer satisfied or went away. I felt empty, but this was when I believe God called me to Himself. I began wanting to read the word daily, attend church consistently and sign up for my first women's bible study. Sometime between 2012 and 2013, I began to loathe my sin and love the Lord. My faith became alive, and I was surrendered to Christ.

While my faith began to grow, so did my bend toward performance. About 2 years into my faith (2014), God brought me my God-fearing husband and two sons – they were 9 & 12. By God’s goodness, we were married on May 23, 2015. In February 2018, we joined “SWAT” (Students with a Testimony: a weekly evangelism outreach where a group of people would engage strangers in spiritual conversation and proclaim the “gospel”). In 2019, we began praying about full-time ministry. And by 2020, I thought I had it together and began to look down on others. Thankfully, the Lord had already begun a good work in me (Philippians 1:6). I signed up for discipleship training and remember balking when told the first book we'd be reading was on the gospel. I thought to myself, "I know the gospel. I do evangelism! Can we move on to everyday discipleship?" I cannot pinpoint it, but something clicked. It felt like I was seeing in color for the first time. My lens was changed. I began a journey of 'being transformed in thought' (Romans 12:2), filtering everything through the gospel.

It is one thing to understand the love of God in theory, it is quite another to know it by experience. Somewhere along my walk,  I bought into the belief that once I was saved, there would be a steady and continuous upward progression. As my husband and I continue ongoing discipleship, different things are coming to the light. Of high importance, I am becoming keenly aware of my ongoing and persistent brokenness.  When these two perspectives collided hard in the past year, I questioned if I was even a believer. I wanted to withdraw and hide, but the Lord pressed in tighter, revived my soul and assured me of His love for me. While it has been painful (to my pride – I am THAT bad and more), I now see this uncovering as immense grace, making God’s love all the sweeter. I am finding “new mercies” through the Father, Son, Spirit, word and body (Romans 5:10). And while I'm "already not yet," I long even more for the day when I will see Him face to face and be fully released from my sin (1 John 3:2-3; Romans 8:23-25).

It is a mercy that God would rescue and transform anyone and reveal Himself to them. If you find yourself dwelling on the sin of others - ask the Lord to show you your heart and His. There is nothing more humbling than rehearsing the truth that He drew near to me, when I was dead in my sin and an enemy of His (Ephesians 2). Is awareness of your sin growing? Confess it, while praising Him for calling you and others out from darkness into His marvelous light. May we take refuge in believing: He is the only one 100% committed to refining and saving us to the end, not just the start. May every day be a merciful reminder of the gift we have in Christ Jesus who,"...did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped but emptied Himself...becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on cross…for by His wounds you were healed " (Philippians 2:5-8, 1 Peter 2:24). Oh how great a love (1 John 3:1)!

Praise Reports:

1. Husband and I continue meditating on and applying truths from our marriage retreat in the Fall and going on dates;
2. While we did not travel to Rome for the Italian Theological Academy's annual conference in January, the ITA director, Johnny Gravino is scheduled to preach at CFBC this Sunday, March 5th, when he comes for the annual Shepherd's Conference;
3. Jacob performed in an opera (thank you to the family & friends that attended); and
4. Zachary's tennis season is starting and continues asking great questions and sharing his heart after worship service or bible studies.

Prayer Requests (the Lord's will in all):

1. The Valadez family as we adjust to Apa being with the Lord, especially my mother in law;
2. Husband is in his second semester, year 2 of bible training class on Monday evenings; he is learning Greek and how to prepare and present sermons and devos;
3. Husband is also in process of taking care of some legalities with his retirement-please pray for peace, wisdom and the Lord to direct/provide; 
4. Wisdom, endurance & to walk in the Spirit, with ongoing health challenges, daily dealings with sin and a work situation;
5. Witnessing opportunities;
6. Zachary will be making some important life decisions in the next few months; and
7. Hacob & Zachary to bear consistent/genuine fruit of salvation.