The One Redeeming Love

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Happy February Beloved! Recently, I had a conversation with a sister about the film, "Redeeming Love" and the book of Hosea. That evening, I had a sobering dream that Husband was unfaithful. I woke up, distraught, speaking truth to myself about my marriage and the Lord, but I began to weep. Husband woke up, and we prayed together. He hugged me tightly and told me, "I'm right here. I'm right here." But I could not sleep. There was a stirring in my spirit. I went to the living room, began to write and the Lord showed me a deeper instruction: there are three types of love 1) imperfect, 2) cheap and 3) redeeming.

Engagement November 2014

I pray it goes without saying, I love my husband, and I know my husband loves me, yet I am keenly aware, our love for one another (& others) is imperfect, conditional and ebbs. At times I find myself believing the false reality that our marriage will endure anything, because of our love for each other. But disappointment and hardship come, our affection is tried and we fall short, again and again. The reality is, he or I are capable to do this (adultery and much worse), despite our best intentions. And in spite of this, our marriage is a shadow of a better union yet to come*.

Even after coming to faith, my heart is daily lured to counterfeit replacement loves - my nature is to love and desire self, others, things and experiences, above the Lord. In the guise of culture or innocence, when I go to any other well but Christ, I am left thirsty, filthy and guilty. In a small group discussion, sisters in Christ were discussing Paul's question to a body of believers, "But now that you have come to know God, or rather to be known by God, how is it that you turn back again to the weak and worthless elemental things, to which you desire to be enslaved all over again" (Galatians 4:9). We talked about performance, control, finances, parenting, scheduling and marriage. In and of themselves, these are not bad, but when they became the priority, define my identity or supply my joy, what was good has ventured to the realm of idolatry and false worship.

The third love, that which is altogether "other" and alone in category, is the redeeming, eternal love of the Lord. After waking up and processing my dream, by God's grace, my attention went from my own hurt, over my Husband's offense toward me (though it was only a dream), to that of Christ - the hurt I have caused Him and know I will continue to. I considered my sin and the depth of His unmerited love. While I was lost, without a clue I needed or wanted to be rescued, He called me to Himself. This lover desired, pursued and transformed me - an unfaithful rebel, with nothing good to bring on my own (I still cannot). Irresistible. I was smitten. Worth and pride leveled. Face before Him, awe! What I bring to this relationship is desperation and defilement. I cannot and have never known a love like His. "Till sin be bitter; Christ will not be sweet" (Thomas Watson, Puritan preacher & author). His love is divine and confounds me. Who can unconditionally and perfectly love, forgive and overlook intentional offenses? Only Jesus.

My best efforts, strength and willpower prove futile; it is impossible for me to love like Him. It is only in Christ and Christ in me, as I drink of His love, I am able to display something so pure and unadulterated; it is a fruit of His Spirit. When beaten, betrayed and belittled, 'He endured the cross.' Why? Redeeming love - though fully aware of every act of infidelity, *He betrothed himself to me, because He sees the day when I (& every believer) will be fully redeemed and live with, glorify and love Him forever. My prayer is that we would see the bitterness of our sin and the sweetness of the love of God that sent His son to cover our sin - there was and is no other way to the Father. God be praised! "For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, [that you] may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God" (Ephesians 3:14, 18-19, NASB '95).

Praise Reports:

  1. We celebrated 4 birthdays - mine, my father-in-law's, my dad's and Husband's (lots of yummy freebies, cherished notes and gifts)
  2. Our head pastor went with Husband to visit his Monday evening bible training class, and they had a great time together
  3. Husband went on a one-day mission's trip with our mission's pastor to Mexico to visit a family our church supports and an orphanage it prays to also support - they had a great time together
  4. Husband and I were able to stream the church conference from Rome - one was in English, and we were able to pick up quite a bit from the others in Italian :D
  5. I had an appointment with an asthma and allergy specialist from Kaiser; I have an appointment scheduled with an ear, nose & throat specialist in March
  6. I have been offered, accepted and am scheduled to start a ¾ full-time position on February 28th at CBU’s Athletics Office (I am able to continue Thursday morning bible studies and get two months off every year, which will allow for continued missions trips and preparation)
  7. The Lord brought two young ladies, and we have been meeting together one-on one - it has been such a blessing and encouragement, as we grow together
  8. The Lord provided for all of Jacob's Spring tuition, even leaving him a sizeable refund to cover books or other school expenses
  9. Jacob took me out for a delightful lunch at CBU
  10. Zachary led a devo for a Youth dinner and game night
  11. Although Zachary was unable to attend a Youth Parent Appreciation dinner, he wrote an encouraging note, and Jacob read it, in his absence
  12. He also played his first two tennis games for the season and is developing well as an athlete
  13. Taxes are filed 

Prayer Requests (the Lord's will in all):

  1. My new role at CBU
    1. To rest in God's providence and have peace of mind, to take every thought captive 
    2. Opportunities
    3. To be set apart
    4. Meal, grocery and transportation logistics
  2. Husband and I will be attending a one-day missions conference on March 8th, and we are planning to have dinner with the missionary from Rome as well as others from our church
  3. Husband (& many other men) will attend the Shepherd's Conference, March 9-11
  4. Refund request from Swiss airlines was denied for all expenses, but I have reached out to our credit card to refund our flights
  5. We have been invited and encouraged to attend an expository teaching conference in Rome the first week of June - wisdom & logistics
  6. Continued direction/balance with ministry/missions (+ faith, patience, wisdom & obedience), especially as Husband continues bible training 
  7. Faithfulness in our current season
  8. Unity in marriage & family 
  9. Physical healing for me (ongoing fatigue, congestion & asthma) & our ability to conceive
  10. Jacob & Zachary to bear consistent/genuine fruit of salvation
  11. To seek God’s glory & submit to His will, above all else 
  12. To walk in the gospel & bear fruits of the Spirit 

Parent Appreciation Dinner

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