Strange & Not So Strange Things
Do you remember the scene in “Toy Story” after Andy gets Buzz Lightyear for his birthday, and the song “Strange Things” by Randy Newman comes on? You are looking through Woody’s perspective: his friends now side with Buzz, the comforter goes from Western to Space and cowboy posters are covered over by space heroes, among other things. In hardship, it is all too easy for anyone, even a believer, to question God’s love and goodness. Do you see that I am suffering? Can you hear my prayers? Worse, we can think: don’t I get a break here? I’m faithful. This is unnecessary…too much.
From the start of quarantine, I have had some “strange things” happen to me – hives, mosquito bites, migraines, neck strain, allergies, chronic fatigue, sleeplessness, parasites and, most recently, job loss. (And if you are wondering if I have COVID-19, rest assured, I am negative.) One reason they are strange is because of their timing. For instance, I woke up from head to toe the first Sunday morning we opened our living room for friends to join us stream church service, prayer and lunch. And the first day I started a discipleship class, I was bit at least 14 times by mosquitos and had a very quick and profound allergic reaction. Despite circumstances, by God’s grace, Husband and I are taking strides in our faith, gospel proclamation and obedience to His leading with missions, employment and our own hearts.
Missions: recall, Rick and I continue walking by faith and are meeting regularly with our mission’s pastor, as we await for the Lord to confirm whether or not we are being called to full-time missions. We’ve also been able to meet 7 missionary families our church supports and discuss with 6 of these our own desires. And doors continue opening for Italy (Rome). In the last month, Husband and I had two conference calls with two different missionaries from Rome. Also, we were so blessed by hosting a missionary couple (and their 2 lovely daughters) in our home for lunch - they have been serving in Albania for 22 years. Below are a few nuggets from some of these conversations.
- Go deep rather than wide. What doors are being opened? Pursue those! 5/16/19
- There is work only Christ can do; we just preach the gospel 3/3/20
- We are fishers of men – it is a game of catch and release 4/13/20
- Do it here, before you do it there (abroad as a missionary) 7/1/20
- What characteristic do you look for in a missionary? F.A.I.T.H.: faithful, available, initiative, teachable and humble 7/21/20
- Find out current needs/prayers abroad, but sink your roots deep at your home church. Your marriage witness is critical. And remain patient; it is a process 8/6/20
- We are called to pursue (and obey God), not open doors 8/25/20
- Am I able (health-wise) vs. is He calling me? If yes to the latter, He will supply 9/14/20
- Remember why you’re there and that even kindness communicates, if you don’t know the language 10/2/20
- Continue investing time in others/relationship building – that is what you will be doing here 10/6/20
In August, I went to deliver a birthday card and gift to a co-worker from the team. Upon my arrival, I saw she also had a gift bag in her hand. Thanking her, I asked if I could give her a hug, and her arms where already outstretched for a warm embrace. I did not realize such a bond had been formed – to God be the glory!
Tuesday, September 15, I received the news of my contract ending early, due to financial impacts of COVID-19. The week before, I was already anticipating the end of my employment, as I had a burden to have eternal conversations with 2 co-workers. The first door was opened very wide to speak, but the other was only slightly cracked. After, a sense of relief and weight was lifted; I knew my “assignment” was complete. September 16, my boss made a formal announcement of my end date and asked everyone’s thoughts. For the slightly cracked door, that co-worker stated, ‘I know you have your faith. You’ll be just fine’ – speechless! Most importantly, I knew my turn to share would come, and I was prepared. There was no other way for me to answer, without sharing my faith and the gospel – “He who did not spare His only son, won’t He also through Him, give us all things freely?” (Romans 8:32). I affirmed that God gave us His very best from the beginning, and He will continue giving me His best, now.
Moreover, on September 30, the day before my replacement’s first day of training, my coworkers surprised me by sending a coworker to our home with flowers and gift-cards. And she even entered my home and hugged me twice, when she’s been sheltering in place. If that was not enough, the team went around sharing encouragement and appreciation for my tenure. As mentioned briefly above, for the door that was opened wide, his screen background was that of the Last Supper. He expressed that it was in my honor, and, that, although we do not have the same beliefs, we are friends and respect one another's beliefs. It is clear I was called here to display and speak plainly on Christ in the midst of loss, confusion and uncertainty.
My Own Heart:
- March 6 prayer: “Lord, make it clear what you want of me and to do it fully.”
- March 25 prayer: “Use me like you used Moses, and reveal yourself to me, like that; fill me with your spirit like Joshua.”
- June 22 prayer: “Teach me surrender; bend my neck.”
- June 22 reflection: I am weak… broken… easily moved… deceived… the flesh is powerful and rotten. God is good… in control… working ALL things together for good… hears us… working on me… everyone… and near to those that draw near to Him. The Holy Spirit is making me new. Everyone is growing at their own pace. Sanctification hurts (death to self). .Grace and patience. Remain faithful. Obey what is known/clear. My husband is God-fearing. God gives the increase. God’s timing is perfect. He is calling out… wants to be known. The church is NOT a building. My heart/vision is for missions, ministry and the lost.
- October 5 reflection: Jesus died to heal me of my greatest sickness (sin) and provide for my greatest need (atonement and reconciliation to Himself); He bore my shame and guilt so I would never be separated from the father; He who did not spare His son won't He also through Him freely give us all things - the best of things, in fact, no withholding.
Conclusion: I recently started reading a “Bruised Reed” by Richard Sibbes, and it is timely: “…he empties such of themselves, and makes them nothing, before he will use them in any great services” (p. 6); “…so unyielding and intractable are our hearts” (p. 8); “His presence makes any condition comfortable” (p. 10); “Lord, what a heart have I that needs all this, that none of this could be spared” (p.12); and “His tenderest care is over the weakest. The lambs he carries in his bosom (Isa. 40:11)” (p. 14).
When broken, hurt, weak or fill-in-the-blank, we must preach the gospel to ourselves: God demonstrated His love for us, even while we were sinners! How much more, now that we’ve been reconciled to Him, will He love us? In 1 Peter 4, Peter forewarned the church to not think fiery trials that were to try them as strange, but to rejoice as a partaker of what Christ chose to endure at the cross. In Acts 20, Paul acknowledged that tribulation awaited him, wherever he was called, but that he would remain faithful and filled with joy, to be a witness of the gospel and God’s grace. And lastly, in Philippians 1, Paul encouraged others in their own witness and proclamation of the gospel, and that God used his chains for that very purpose.
While this season has not been easy, it has been filled with peace, comfort and growth; I have had many more opportunities to share the gospel; and doors continue opening for missions. We are eager and expectant for what lies ahead.
Lastly, I remember a trial that came up with one of our sons recently, and I affirmed him, BECAUSE God loves you, He is allowing this to happen. When times get hard, may we remember the completed work of Jesus at the cross, eternity and resurrection that is promised, as the Holy Spirit beckons us to die daily to our self and present ALL of ourselves a living sacrifice. And may we ask: God, what is it you want to teach me about yourself, myself or do? Speak, for your servant is listening. Here I am, send me!
Thanks for sharing that Avi! It can be a challenge in difficult circumstances, or especially those very hard providences to remember that God is working all things together for our good and His glory. Some circumstances can be difficult or uncomfortable, while others can be gut wrenchingly painful. You mentioned that it is important to remember the Gospel in our trials. So true. We never outgrow the Gospel.
ReplyDeleteI think we all know the story of Horatio Spafford who wrote “It Is Well With My Soul” (That hymn has been a balm to my soul in times of deep pain). As you may recall, Horatio sent his wife and four daughters ahead to England while he was delayed by business. Sadly, there was a tragic accident at sea in which 226 people died, including their four daughters. Beyond devastating. But as Spafford penned this hymn that has given solace to so many, notice what he does, he goes back to the gospel with these two stanzas:
Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ hath regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
My sin, oh the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to His cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
Tim Keller comments:
"When Spafford was on the ship on his way to England to bring his wife home, he began to write a hymn—“It is well with my soul … When peace, like a river …” Those are the words he wrote. Here is what I want you to think about: why would a man dealing with his grief, seeking the peace of God—the peace like a river—spend the entire hymn on Jesus and his work of salvation? And why would he bring up the subject of his own sin at such a time?...
What has that got to do with his four little girls who are dead? Everything! Do you know why? When things go wrong, one of the ways you lose your peace is that you think maybe you are being punished. But look at the cross! All the punishment fell on Jesus. Another thing you may think is that maybe God doesn’t care. But look at the cross! The Bible gives you a God that says, “I have lost a child too; but not involuntarily—voluntarily, on the cross, for your sake. So that I could bring you into my family.”
In that hymn you can watch a man thinking, thanking, and loving himself into the peace of God. It worked for him under those circumstances. It worked for Paul under his circumstances. It will work for you."
Thanks again Avi for reminding us of these precious truths.