Seeking

I cannot believe it has almost been a year since my grandma on my mom’s side passed away, last Thanksgiving morning. I remember it like it was yesterday, and yet, it also seems like so long ago. It was a cold morning, and Rick’s phone, set on do not disturb mode, rang at about 5 or so in the morning. He got his phone, exited the bedroom and closed the door behind him. He returned and asked me to call my mom, and I already knew. She had been sick for some time, so when the news came, there was  relief, shock and hope, but mostly fear and anxiety over her eternal destination , among a slew of others. Can you relate? The day was altogether odd. Zachary was sick, so instead of coming home after school the day before, he stayed at his mom’s house, and we did not see him for the holiday. Our neighbors that had planned to join us for breakfast did not call or show up. And at the two other gatherings we dropped in and out of, everyone asked and said roughly the same: I am sorry for your lo...

Do you remember the scene in “Toy Story” after Andy gets Buzz Lightyear for his birthday, and the song “ Strange Things ” by Randy Newman comes on? You are looking through Woody’s perspective: his friends now side with Buzz, the comforter goes from Western to Space and cowboy posters are covered over by space heroes, among other things. In hardship, it is all too easy for anyone, even a believer, to question God’s love and goodness . Do you see that I am suffering? Can you hear my prayers? Worse, we can think: don’t I get a break here? I’m faithful. This is unnecessary…too much.  From the start of quarantine, I have had some “strange things” happen to me – hives, mosquito bites, migraines, neck strain, allergies, chronic fatigue, sleeplessness, parasites and, most recently, job loss. (And if you are wondering if I have COVID-19, rest assured, I am negative.) One reason they are strange is because of their timing. For instance, I woke up from head to toe the first Sunday morning w...

Hearts of Fire is Written by the Voice of the Martyrs. This 293-page book highlights 8 women’s stories of faith and gets you thinking about your own. This book has brought me a depth of conviction and encouragement, because it highlights what God can do, when a heart is fully surrendered and then empowered by the Holy Spirit, allowing ordinary women to do the impossible, in the face of persecution and/or testing. During a small gathering for my birthday in February, a sister in Christ told me about “this amazing book,” Hearts of Fire, and I wanted to start reading it, immediately. Early March, I was at the Grove’s annual rummage sale, and there it was! I was ecstatic. I also thought about starting a book club, so I began to pray. Shortly after, the same friend sent a text to the women from that lunch with a link to get a free copy of the book. A few said they also wanted to read it – this was the nudge I needed to start my first book club . Over the course of 12 weeks, 7 ladies and I...